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Thanksgiving Dinner With The Elves
I believe I would like to spend just one Thanksgiving with Santa's elves. They seem like they could use a good feast before the crunch time of Christmas happens. And they seem like such an industrious and creative bunch. Cheerful too, at least by reputation.
I had thought the reindeer might be nice to invite... but having spent a bit of time around deer, I know they have trouble controlling their bowels in public situations. And besides, they have more opportunity to get out and about than the elves. They get all the press, but really, in all likelihood I couldn't tell Donder from Blitzen.
But ahhh, the elves. What are their names? We don't even know. At least I don't. Haven't a clue. Bosphor? Slammalander? Phileastothese? Tom? Certainly it would be a good conversation starter to politely ask...
Are some of them vegetarians? Do they dance with wild abandon? What do they put in their pipes? Do they prefer ale, wine, or stronger spirits? What are their thoughts on gay marriage? What kind of inside dirt do they have on Santa Claus? Pumpkin, pecan or mince meat pie?
There are so many questions to ask of elves, and so little opportunity. Do they have a good retirement plan? Single payer health insurance? Do they make all their own shoes? Have any of them ever visited the Great Wall of China? What's their opinion of Sarah Palin, since everybody else has expressed one....
After a good feast, and some interesting conversation, we could sit around the living room and play some Elfin music. I'm not sure what that sounds like, but I'm sure I could play along. And many of you could too.......
I had thought the reindeer might be nice to invite... but having spent a bit of time around deer, I know they have trouble controlling their bowels in public situations. And besides, they have more opportunity to get out and about than the elves. They get all the press, but really, in all likelihood I couldn't tell Donder from Blitzen.
But ahhh, the elves. What are their names? We don't even know. At least I don't. Haven't a clue. Bosphor? Slammalander? Phileastothese? Tom? Certainly it would be a good conversation starter to politely ask...
Are some of them vegetarians? Do they dance with wild abandon? What do they put in their pipes? Do they prefer ale, wine, or stronger spirits? What are their thoughts on gay marriage? What kind of inside dirt do they have on Santa Claus? Pumpkin, pecan or mince meat pie?
There are so many questions to ask of elves, and so little opportunity. Do they have a good retirement plan? Single payer health insurance? Do they make all their own shoes? Have any of them ever visited the Great Wall of China? What's their opinion of Sarah Palin, since everybody else has expressed one....
After a good feast, and some interesting conversation, we could sit around the living room and play some Elfin music. I'm not sure what that sounds like, but I'm sure I could play along. And many of you could too.......
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Comment by Donna Stumpo on November 24, 2009 at 7:32am
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I love the image of the elves sitting around the thanksgiving table discussing health plans! Perhaps they would have some thoughts on the stock market too?
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Comment by David Vidal on November 23, 2009 at 1:59pm
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Obviously you've had more direct contact with the elvin ones than I, Stephen... though I did see their bishop in concert at one pint. I must get out more...
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Comment by stephen dijoseph on November 23, 2009 at 9:55am
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PSS love your Blog david..gonna check out the vid...Happy Thanksgiving!
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well.... I CAN say one thing for sure 'bout elvin folk....some of them RAP and will b starring in a christmas vid I'm producing....now from what I can see, working with them and all, these pint-sized studious little work-a-holics DRINK!! like fish, CURSE like sailors and DANCE like Fred Astaire!! Jolly old elf?!? that doesn't just fit Mr Claus-Kris-Krangle..YO! CONSTANT PUNS! ENDLESS LIMERICKS! What's a producer to do?!?
PS. they LOVE Sarah...the HATE shoes!!!!... go to Payless to get 'em AND...
they have no money BUT EVERYBODY just GIVES them stuff...ALL the time!
UN-believeable...more stories from the sessions later...gobble,gobble.
stephen dijoseph
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Comment by wiffledust on November 23, 2009 at 9:43am
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ha, rick! what if they're not nice little fellers? what if they just burp and tell dirty jokes all day???
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Comment by Rick Reiley on November 23, 2009 at 9:32am
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I'm not certain but somewhere deep down I think I've always wanted to play the triangle in an all elf orchestra. Or maybe the kazoo. I believe Bartholomew would be a likely name for an elf. But I couldn't swear it to be true.
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can i come???? sounds fabulous!
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