In the Days Before the Internet

Just something silly that popped into my head this morning:

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IN THE DAYS BEFORE THE INTERNET by Paul Halpern

Remember when...

• If a café had a web site, you might worry that they had a spider problem

• You would not wish to procure delicacies from the web site

• You certainly wouldn’t pick out a blackberry from the web site

• If someone mentioned that they friended someone, you would assume that they meant befriended and that they were spending quality time with that person

• If someone said they had just friended ten (or more) people, you might assume they were a boy/girl scout or a missionary

• If someone mentioned that a famous musician had friended them you might wonder how they managed to get a backstage pass, and if they were being a little over-enthusiastic
  about an autograph

• If someone mentioned that they had friended the President he or she would generate very confused looks, and maybe a visit from the Secret Service

• If someone shared their photos you be impressed that they took the trouble to order duplicate prints.

• If someone shared the photos of their vacation, you might wonder why they are giving people duplicate prints of their vacation photos

• If an older person mentioned computers you might assume he or she was a retired engineer

• If a kid mentioned computers you might think that he/she read a lot of science fiction

• If someone had Spam on their computer you’d assume he or she was a technician with a low budget for food and poor lunch habits

• If a kid mentioned Googol you’d think he or she was a math whiz

• If a kid was doing a Googol search you’d show them where in a math book they could find that large number

• If someone bought a book on Amazon you’d assume that they were interested in Brazil or large rivers.

• If someone purchased a kindle book you’d assume they were trying to start a fire

• If someone was photographing all the houses on your street in great detail you might think of calling the police

• If you came across an aerial photo of your house you might think of calling the defense department

• If a song was tweeted, a canary must have been around

• If a song was retweeted, a canary with a fabulous memory must have been around

• Your laptop would disappear whenever you stood up