In all things & at all times, be you.

Life is short and the total truth of it is, none of us knows just how short. Some live to be 100, sure....though given how time flies, what is a 100 years even? Whether we live to be 5 or 85, I find that we often waste so much time bickering, complaining, & worrying. I mean, we already spend so much time sleeping, bathing, eating, etc. During our time when we're awake and able to do things & interact with others, why aren't we spending that time more wisely? I am a huge culprit of playing the worrying game, the thinking too much game, the being overly paranoid game, & the dealing with pointless b.s. game. But, I know that I should spend more of my time better than I do. I don't know when my life will be over and when the time comes, I'd like to be able to say that I got done everything I wanted to & that everyone in my life knows how much they mean to me. I know there is a reason I am still here, I still have so much that is left unfinished & I am glad that God has given me the time to work on things and to be able to spend time with those I love. I have my share of regrets, but I don't let them keep me from living my life now. Though of the things I regret, a great deal of them involve things I didn't do or didn't say that I'd always wanted to and so I have learned from that, now if I have something I really want to do or say, I find ways to make sure I am able to accomplish my goals.

We all have many people that come into our lives, friends, family, co-workers, those we date/marry, random people we interact with at stores, the doctor's office, gas station, etc. Each person we come into contact with plays a role in our lives whether we realize it or not. The key is to not let the impact they have control what we say, what we do, & how we live....especially when the impact they had was negative. Every moment we have is precious and once gone, we can't get them back....so, we should try to live as positively as we can. I am not an idiot and realize that even with the strongest of wills and the best of intentions, things will go wrong and we will spend many moments unhappy. But, when knocked down, we have to figure out how to get back up...how not to stay down. By we, I do of course also mean me. I have much learning to do when it comes to not letting bad things keep me down. Life is short, I know this. And I know that bad things happen, but good things happen plenty as well. Remember the bad, so as to learn from it....but don't dwell. Cherish the good, but don't obsess. Think about the future, but don't forget to live today because then tomorrow will never come.

The people in our lives are important, especially those closest to our hearts. We should give of ourselves, encourage them, be there for them, believe in them, support them, stand up to them when you need to, let them cry or yell, make them smile and laugh. But we should also take what they have to offer of themselves, let them encourage us, be here for us, believe in us, support us, stand up to us when we have it coming, be there when we need to cry or yell, let them make us smile and laugh. Relationships are about give and take. If any given relationship appears to be one sided or at the very least heavily tipped in one direction...it's not a healthy relationship. These come and go throughout life and it's not always the other person who is doing the majority of the taking, sometimes it's us....sometimes we know it and sometimes perhaps we don't see it. Sometimes a friendship or intimate relationship starts out healthy and goes bad over time due to many possible reasons. Sometimes the relationship was never healthy to begin with. But whatever the case may be, if you're surrounded by people who are taking advantage of your kindness, abusing your feelings, etc....you need to cut the ties, no matter how painful it may be to do it. And, if you're the one who gets left out in the cold, take a look at yourself and ask yourself why. We all need to take a good look in the mirror once in awhile. No matter how good we may think we are, how kind & compassionate, how fun we are to be with....none of us are perfect and sometimes we need to do some growing, some maturing. We're never fully done evolving personally. It is good to take care of others, to be there for others, but it is also very good to take care of yourself. We must find a healthy balance, a way to be able to be there for those we love without neglecting ourselves lest we become either too selfish that no one wants to be around us or too nice that our own needs fall down the drain.

And be you, never be afraid to let your inner light shine. Something we all must see is that no one is liked/loved by everyone. No matter how nice you are, there will be people who simply don't like you and perhaps you won't understand it because you haven't done anything to them, but they just don't dig on your vibe. Don't pretend, don't try to be all things to all people. Be you and know that sometimes you will let people down, it won't feel nice for either side...but it's a part of life, but don't get accustomed to that and think you're just going to fail everyone or think it's okay to ditch out on others. Don't lead people on. As not everyone likes you, you know you don't like everyone you meet. Don't take advantage of someone simply because you can. I won't even let a random guy buy me drinks at a bar when I know either he's into me and wants my number or he just is hoping to get lucky & I have absolutely no interest in him. It's wrong. I don't care if I can get drunk for free, get free dinners, free concert tickets, free jewelry/clothes, etc.....I don't need free stuff. What I care about when I am into someone isn't how much money they make, what they can buy me, etc. I care about how we connect. When you look at me, does my heart skip a beat? When you hold my hand, do I smile? When you kiss me, does my breathing change....do I wrap my arms around you, do I get into it or do I just stand there? When I hear your name, how do I react? Do I go, meh...big deal, do I ignore the fact your name was mentioned, do I look sick to my stomach, or do I light up? When we're together, am I happy? Do you make me laugh? Do I feel content in your arms? Do we connect? Can we trust each other? Is the love there? These things matter. When it comes to friendships, the same thing applies...it's not about what you can give me. It's about how we connect. Do we make each other laugh? Do we enjoy one another? Do we talk? Can I trust you? Do you trust me? Is the respect there? Relationships are so complex and yet, so simple if people are willing to work together. If I ever make any of you feel like things are one sided, tell me. Perhaps I need to look in the mirror. Perhaps I need to work on some things. If any kind of relationship is going to make it, there needs to be effort put forth on both sides. If that is not possible, then that is when people must part ways. People come and go throughout our lives, some stay around for a little while and others a very long time. The keys to the long term relationships are communication, honesty, loyalty, trust, respect, & of course love. When any one of these begins to fail, either something needs to be done to fix things or you have to know when to walk away. But in the midst of all of it, you must stay true to yourself. Don't be someone you're not to please a friend or to stay with your significant other. Heck, in my mind, don't even be someone you're not to please your parents, grandparents, siblings, etc. Even with family, don't back down....be you. Be respectful, but be you. To be in someone's life is to accept them as they are, faults and all. We all grow, sometimes that growth is inspired by others and that's okay....but let these changes be something you want, not something you do just because you feel you have to in order to keep someone around. Be you,, always be you.

Okay, that's enough of my rambling for now....