world of wiffledust

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The land of the brave & home of the free

That is what you are to many, including me

Across vast & might oceans and distant seas

Some see us as a land of greed & shallow vanity

It is true that our nation has its troubles, that's easy to see

And there are plenty I know who are ready & willing to flee

Fed up with our government & changing all we're meant to be

A lot that happens here is troubling, on that I can agree

But there is still good to be found in our wondrous country

Within many of its citizens who still believe in love & chivalry

And look upon it's breathtakingly beautiful scenery

From its vast & mighty mountains to its luscious  greenery

This is my home land, now & forever more, don't you see?

Ashamed of certain people, perhaps, but this is still my country

Born & raised here, this is where my friends are & my family

An American now & it is what I shall forever be

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Comment by Carissa Galow on March 1, 2014 at 10:49am

Thank you, Lisa, that means a lot to me! :)

Comment by wiffledust on February 27, 2014 at 8:17pm

my pleasure! i respect what you're doing very much!

Comment by Carissa Galow on February 27, 2014 at 8:15pm

And I am glad that you do offer up your honest opinion. :) Thank you for respecting me enough to do so! :)

Comment by wiffledust on February 27, 2014 at 12:26pm
That's cool!! Just offering my honest thoughts, but I believe yours are the most important and honor that!
Comment by Carissa Galow on February 27, 2014 at 12:15pm

Yes, actually, I do believe that chivalry still exists in today's society. One just has to look to see it. :) And to me, the last phrase wasn't strained, that was how I wanted it to sound. ;) But thank you for your compliments & criticism. I appreciate your feedback and honesty. 

Comment by wiffledust on February 26, 2014 at 1:47pm

this is a different type of topic for you. i love that you branch out into so many areas. in the stop stanza where you end with "distant seas" and then pick up with "some see us", i think, is particularly good work! the sound, the use of the words….excellent! i have only two areas of criticism on this one…one is chivalry. do you think we are particularly chivalrous? i tend to think of that word as associated more with the middle ages, and we are so modern compared to that. what do you think? the other is "it is what i shall forever be"…that seems like strained poetry to me. can you work with that last phrase? …nice work, carissa!!! 

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