What I Like About Sleep

Eloise and Evelyn got to the top of the escalator, eggplant firmly in hand. As they got off, they couldn't help but notice that a priest, a rabbi and Batman were getting on the descending escalator. The de-escalator, as it were.

"What is this... a joke?" Evelyn groaned.

"We're going to a bar!" Batman boasted.

"Why don't you join us?" rasped the rabbi.

"Please!" panted the priest. "Bring your eggplant!"

"What the hey!" Eloise and Evelyn exclaimed excitedly. And back down they went, eggplant and all.

At the bottom of the escalator, they ran into Edmund the Executioner, who was feeling a bit glum.

"Eddie! My old pal!" Batman brayed. "We're going to a bar!"

"Why don't you join us?" rasped the rabbi.

"Please!" panted the priest.

"I can't," Eddie replied dejectedly. "I have to go to work."

"Surely you can join us for just one little drink!" exclaimed Eloise and Evelyn excitedly.

"Well, I guess just one wouldn't hurt," Edmund the Executioner enunciated slowly. "I suppose I've got some time to kill."

So Eloise, Evelyn, Edmund the Executioner, a priest, a rabbi and Batman walk in a bar.

"What is this... a joke?" asks the bartender.

"No, my son," pants the priest. "It's no joke. I'm following the path of Jesus."

"And I'm following the Ten Commandments!" rasps the rabbi.

"I miss Robin!" Batman burps.

"We're carrying around an eggplant!" exclaim Eloise and Evelyn.

"And I'm postponing lopping some poor sucker's head off," mumbles Edmund the Executioner.

"Well, that's just great!" deadpans the bartender. "You seem like a real interesting group! What'll it be?"

"I'll have red wine, to remind me of the blood of Jesus!" pants the priest.

"I'll have a margarita, to remind me of Moses' travails in the desert!" rasps the rabbi.

"I'll have a Scotch on the rocks, to help me forget about Robin!" booms Batman.

"We'll have Guinness Stout, because we might be Irish!" exclaim Eloise and Evelyn excitedly.

"And I'll have a Bloody Mary," mumbles Edmund the Executioner.

"Well, that's just great!" grins the bartender. "A priest, a rabbi and Batman walk in a bar... and... it's.. no.. joke!!? Well, guess what, gang! I'm Jack Nicholson! Whaddya think of that! And I want a friggin' sandwich!!!"

"Oh no!" exclaim Eloise and Evelyn. "He is Jack Nicholson! He's gonna do one of those weird freak out things, huh..."

"Heeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!!!!!!!!!" leers the bartender, leaping on top of the bar.

The priest crosses himself. The rabbi gets out his cell phone and dials 911. 

"I just feel so helpless without Robin!" Batman sobs, burying his head in his knees.

"I really thought this was gonna be some kind of a joke," mumbles Edmund the Executioner. "It had such potential. I really needed a good laugh. "

He walks over to the jukebox, and searches for Willy Nelson songs. Or maybe The Cure.