Time, Creativity and Finally Some Completion

I push myself.  I guilt trip myself when I run from my pushing of myself. 

 (Running Fingers. Photo by M. Mesplé. 7/2011)

(photo discovered here:http://www.thedailydl.com/microsoft-sues-dhl-for-2m-for-train-derai...)

(Guilt Screams. Photo by M. Mesplé. 2008)

(Gourd In Waiting. Photo by M.Mesplé. 7/2010)

     This journey, with THIS gourd involved cracks in the gourd that were well hidden. This journey involved a gourd that felt "thick" before cutting, and then that thickness became thick inner fluff with a thin, brittle outer shell.

      This journey involved two major hospitalizations of my aging mother; one hospitalization lasted 45 days. This journey involved running out of my selected color dye half way through staining the gourd!

     This journey derailed because of my own medical adventure that involved surgery and a recovery that lasted for two months!

     This journey involved emotional hardships involving people who should not matter but do. This journey involved emotional hardships involving people I love who broke my heart (or I let break my heart). This gourd has been a journey involving a lot of time, a lot of creativity beyond just design and execution of design ... creative problem solving to the max! This journey has been a circuitous path towards completion. Completion of a PRAYER bowl.

      What? Yes, a prayer bowl. In retrospect, I see how all those little distractions that I thought robbed me of time and robbed my creative juices were distractions held in prayer. For each obstacle I encountered I would use prayer as a means of discovering strength (without thinking of the fact that I was creating a prayer bowl).

      I prayed for understanding. I prayed for healing. I prayed for tolerance. The day I packed up the completed prayer bowl it hit me. I had received all I placed my intentions upon. All my little prayers I offered up were manifested. I held within me an understanding of life from a new perspective; a perspective I had not used before. I was healed in more ways than just on the physical plane ... my heart had healed in a way I never believed was possible. And tolerance is now a way of life without question.

     Without the thought of the fact that I was making a prayer bowl for another soul, I used the energy of this vessel to assist me with my own needs. As I stood holding this beautiful manifestation in my hands, preparing to send it off to its new home I became so aware of the eventuality of our intentions and that with time, and creativity, and a willingness to let go of the need to feel in control, all things come to completion. It is the "letting go of" combined with faith that took me back to my original path but that path is now paved a bit differently .... at least for a little while.