Patitence Produces

I received a phone call in the early morning hours (the awareness of time) from my mother. My mother lives with me. My mother has a bedroom down the hall from my bedroom. My mom called me on my cell phone using her cell phone and when I answered her only words were; "Mary, come here" ~ click ~ the phone went silent. I already knew before my feet hit the floor what the day was serving. Within an hour my mom was uncomfortably smushed (my word) atop a gurney in an emergency room and she was being grilled with the same questions over and over and over. Questions like, "your name is?" and "you were born when?" and for the hundredth time, "what are your allergies?" and these questions came in addition to the question asked by every person entering the room, "what brought you to the hospital today?" As I watched the clock in the emergency room I felt agony and frustration filling my body starting at my toes. Soon, after the first 45 minutes I was ankle deep in anxiety. I was chest deep in fear for my mom's condition. On the less than perfect side of who I am there was also the frustration for my day not playing out the way I had designed it the evening before going to sleep. I visualized before going to dreamland all the beads I would be making when I awakened and the gourd designs I would be working on and the planting of my vegetable starts into my garden and ......... I didn't visualize my mom having a health crisis.

With intention I willed myself into deploying patience within my being and I let go and embraced the moment we were in (one after another). I let go of all my expectations for my day and for my mom's day. I surrendered to life and to just being with what we were being served. I knew my beads would be just fine and that my gourds would not cop an attitude. I felt my baby plants were just being little plants and knew the stress of caring was my own projection. My vegetable starts were not going to be mad at me for not putting them into the ground on a certain day. I witnessed my mother letting go also and embracing the fact that the doctors and nurses and aides and techs were there to help her. I witnessed myself opening my tightly clenched need to control and micro manage my immediate environment and hand over (symbolically) my mother to those who could help her. Patience was the operative word, and our patience produced a beautiful outcome. With technology and quick action my mom did not suffer a major heart attack. Nope, instead she became the recipient of a cardiac stent ... a stent that will increase the quality of her life. A stent that also lets me relax into a deeper understanding of faith and trust and the results of patience.