world of wiffledust

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I am participating in National Novel Writing Month ( this year, and I thought I'd share the first chapter of my novel... So here goes! Share your thoughts please!

Chapter One – Lucas
“Damn it,” Lucas exclaimed when he nearly tripped over Trooper, his three-legged chocolate lab while rushing around his small bedroom. “I’m never going to make it at this rate!” He was getting ready for a romantic evening his girlfriend of three years had planned, though there was no occasion. What a woman, Lucas thought when she told him to look nice for a special night on the town, her treat.
Lucas Treadwater and Claire Danson met in their sixth grade year at King Junior High and became fast friends. The pair was inseparable throughout junior high despite exorbitant differences in economic status. While Lucas’ parents kept a tight rope on their money to be sure to be able to provide for Lucas and his kid sister Lauren, Claire’s father owned a collection of mortuaries. Mr. Danson always said that it was the best business to be in because regardless of the economy, people always die. Lucas always thought that Mr. Danson was a tad morbid for his taste, so when the man offered him a part-time job as a paper pusher his freshman year of high school, he opted to stick with his job as a waiter in an Italian restaurant.
When sophomore year rolled around, Lucas noticed he was beginning to feel more than just friendship for Claire, and, after prodding from seven-year-old Lauren, finally took Claire on an official date. She was confused and shocked, but when Lucas pulled her up to dance during a lull in their dinner and asked her to be his girlfriend, she obliged and initiated their first kiss, which was better than Lucas could have dreamed of. That’s the way it had always been in their friendship, comfortable and as if they took turns being in charge.
The two fell in love quickly and never looked back. Now Claire was taking them back to the restaurant where they’d shared that first date – and a delicious chocolate lava cake – for a special night with just the two of them. Lucas was on fire with excitement. They didn’t get to see each other much because of college. Lucas was attending a community school so that he could live at home and continue to work, but Claire had gone out of state to a private college, with a dorm overlooking the Appalachian Mountains. She was normally claimed by her sorority for most weekends, working on projects or something, Lucas never knew. He just listened to her gush when she talked about her sisters, throwing in an “ooh” or an “ah” at seemingly appropriate places in the conversation.
Finally ready. It had taken Lucas far too long to make himself presentable, but he wanted to look perfect for the big night out with Claire. He took a deep breath at the bathroom mirror and turned to Trooper, who was sitting devotedly by his side as usual, and kneeled down. “Well, Troop, I don’t know what it is about this girl, but she still makes me nervous after all this time.” Trooper’s eyebrows pulled together to give his face the concerned look that made Lucas think he was part human, and then he pushed his face into Lucas’, something he’d been doing for years to comfort his human. Even when he was being rolled into emergency surgery to get his back left leg amputated after being hit by a car, he was the one comforting Lucas. Now he pulled away from Lucas’ face and gave him a winning, lopsided grin while wagging his tail as if to say “Okay, Luke, get over yourself and have a great night!” Lucas grinned back and jumped up to leave, back to being excited about the evening.

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Comment by Donna Stumpo on November 2, 2009 at 7:19am
wow- you've got me HOOKED, Steen--I can't wait to hear what happens next. I especially liked the dog with "human" expressions. Are we gonna get to read more?????
Comment by Steen Krause on November 2, 2009 at 5:03am
Thanks! I am actually planning on changing the perspective between Lucas and Claire throughout the story. Chapter two is written now and it's from Claire's side. Can't share that one yet though! The rest is a surprise. :)
Comment by wiffledust on November 2, 2009 at 1:15am
oh this is great, steen! i like the way you're talking more or less from lucas' perspective or his story so far. that can be challenging. i particularly like the prodding from seven year old lauren. that's often the case, isnt it? how sweet! great job with the dialogue too. i find that hard as can be when i make attempts. and it's a great beginning. i want to see what happens next. i can't believe you pumped this out today. soo proud of you!!!

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