Intro to Intensive Journaling

Some people read books, and some people read and do the exercises. I have journals filled with exercises completed from various sources. And then there are people that execute those things they
learned. On November 2, 1993 , I was doing an exercise from Notes on How
to Live in the World and Still Be Happy that prompted a desire for
bigger changes. Hearing a speaker, Marilyn Vanderbird evoked emotions in
me that made me want to pursue the feelings deeper and to transcend the
pain I was experiencing at the time. A woman I knew suggested I sign up
for a workshop that would offer more support to help meet the
challenges I was experiencing. I was introduced to my first of many to
come intensive workshops. I became the receiver of the workshops which
led me to ultimately be a facilitator. The very first workshop I
attended was an 5-day intensive at the Caron Foundation in Reading, Pa.
This is also where I first became truly aware of my body. I didn't
realize it at the time, but I was soon to find out that I held my
breath. That workshop opened up the door to a whole new world. A world that I wanted and needed to step into fully.
Once I stepped into that world there was no going back. I only wanted to move forward and from there I did exactly that. Shortly there after, I
signed up for a Loss Workshop at the Caron Foundation. Life was truly
taking on a whole new meaning for me. Even though I wasn't clear as to
all that was happening as a result of the work, I knew I was
changing...my life was changed forever.

That year I continued to work with my usual support mechanism's I had
already put in place. Only now, I was delving deeper. On June 19, 1994 I
entered my work with Alice Rutkowski, PhD., R.M.T. in her body oriented
approach to discovery, growth and change program, Motional Processing.
The first workshop I did of her's was Rediscovery I, a 10-day intensive
in her studio. The work intrigued me because it was extremely and
uniquely creative, plus I felt a sense of safety. This work not only
supported my emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual need to heal,
but it also supported my desire to grow and feed my own creative juices.
I studied with Alice for the next six years. In that first workshop, I
met another facilitator, Robin Velez who told me about her work. Again, I
was intrigued enough to sign up for one of her workshop's, The Child
Within.
In Alice's work, I was introduced to movement exploration, group processing, drawing, writing ( a whole other level that I had been doing
in my journals), sound, voice, and creativity. My first drawing looked
like this:
We were to identify what we felt emotionally, mentally, and physically in the image. I was sad, strong and asking for help. In reviewing my journal I
see that I had a need to be heard and didn't feel like I was at that
time in my life. When we were asked to move out our image, I had
confusion because my feet were facing opposite directions. I left that
workshop with both feet moving in the same direction and planted firmly
on the ground.

Journaling helped me become aware of my changes. So, whether you choose
to do your own exercises, or you enter an intensive workshop remember
these tips. Be more selective as to who you share with because you may
be vulnerable as a result of the work. Not everyone will understand nor
accept your changes. Find someone that will hear you without judgment,
protect yourself. Don't make significant changes after you've worked
deeply. Know it is normal to feel low whenever you do intense work. Know
you willl come out the other side. Look for your triumphs. Find a
friend to share your discoveries. Continue to observe yourself lovingly.
Ask yourself, what do I need to keep my fire going? Keep going, keep
journaling and one day you will look in the mirror and know you are
different...you will have awakened!