3:30A.M.

I wake up from the strangest dream

Only to have music stuck in my head

I know it's late because it's still dark

I turn to look at the clock

It's nearly 3:30A.M.

 

Part of me wants to go back to sleep

But upon a sudden whim

I find myself getting out of bed

So many thoughts in my head

I could succumb to the depression knocking on my heart

 

I could let the sadness overwhelm me

Let it drown me in its dark waters

I could turn it into anger

How dare you mess with my heart?

Let it fester until my throat goes dry from screaming

 

However, I choose neither option

It is what it is

Many things happen in life

Curve balls are constantly thrown my way

Trying to hit me dead in the face

 

How I react to each change is up to me

I could choose to let the darkness win

It would be all too easy

Just to give up

Just to give in

 

But I have done so before

And the ending is never worth it

This, like so many things that have happened before

Will only make me stronger

If I choose to let it

 

It's so quiet here

Some think it's peaceful

But when it's like this

This leaves room for me to think

And we all know that I think too much

 

I can't promise I won't have a dark day

Or maybe even a few

It's going to be hard to watch him go

And even harder knowing he's leaving me behind

But I will get through this

 

If we're meant to be together

It will work out

Either he will find he misses me so much

That he needs to come home

Or he will send for me

 

But perhaps neither will happen

And if that's the case

Will it sting?

Oh sure it will

But in either event, I will be okay

 

Whilst I wait

I won't be doing so by the phone

Or crying myself to sleep every night

I have a life to live

And many dreams to turn into reality

 

I know I mean something to him

This makes me smile

Though I have come to realize sadly

That it might not be enough

Not enough for him to fight for us

 

I won't fight for someone who won't fight for me

Been there

Done that

It only ends up wasting my time

And hurting worse in the end

 

I won't shut him out

But I won't put my heart on hold either

If he comes for me before I move on

Great

Though if not, his loss

 

They say if you love someone enough

You'll find a way to let them go

So, go

Do what you need to do

And I will do what I need to do

 

Your future is bright

But so is mine

Because I choose to make it so

I have much to accomplish

Tomorrow is a new day

 

I take a deep breath

And then I head back to bed

My world wasn't built in a day

But it won't get built at all

If I just sit here

 

Good-night

3:30A.M. has gone

And soon the sun will rise

Banging on my window

Showing me the way to go